Did I mention that I love music? I mean I really love music. I listen to music when I wake up, when I go to bed, when I’m asleep, while I’m eating, watching television, while I’m driving, putting on makeup, taking off makeup, while I’m cooking. I think you get the picture. I love music. I grew up listening to music almost every waking hour. Except during school hours. My mom and her sister owned a record shop (similar to a gaming store but for music and music assessories) and they both sang in a gospel quartet for years. Needless to say, but I’ll say it anyway, we had albums coming out of the woodwork when they decided to close the business. We had gospel albums, R & B, comedy and full sermons from famous ministers. I don’t know if they make recordings of sermons anymore. Especially with the advent of such platforms as YouTube and Facebook Live.
Music has always had an effect on me emotionally as I’m sure it does most people. But with me, it has the propensity to either make my day or break my day, and on occasion, speak to me. I hope to one day carry on a full fledge conversation with music alone. Maybe I’ll start with a question by Marvin Gaye, “What’s Going On?” Or make a comment with one of Aretha’s hit lyrics, “What you want, baby I got it. Whoop!” I think it can be done by voicemail or links in a text. I’ll have to figure out the details later. Anyway, back to my discussion of my obsession and emotional attachment to music. I can be in a sad mood, put on an upbeat tune and then, vialah I’m dancing in the car or cooking to the latest beat. Then there are other times the lyrics make me long for whatever it is they’re bragging about and turns into a reminder that I have yet to attain the whatever it is. Then that same beat drives me to a more somber mood and it digresses to something with a woe-is-me feel to it. It helps me to bathe in my sorrow all the more. But for the most part, music’s my friend. It’s seen me through some tough times. Some really rough spots in my life have been to the background of worship and praise, sad love songs and everything in between. I know that it’s not good to be governed by your emotions, but it’s something about music that helps me to see my situation in a clearer light for some reason. I can’t explain it. Maybe it’s apart of how I process life’s many challenges. How I navigate through them unscathed most of the time. And learn a lesson to boot. You can’t go wrong with music.
Sometimes I swear the DJ and my playlist, while in shuffle mode, knows my state of mind sometimes. It’s kinda scary. Really it is! One night I was listening to this song and I could not for the life of me get it off of repeat. I downloaded it, hit play and didn’t take it from my hearing for two solid days. I’m serious. Two whole days. Even in my sleep. I knew that song backwards and forwards. It was as if the person I had on my mind was sending me a message about his thoughts that very moment and he would not stop sending that message until I got it. Once I sensed the song lifting from me, that feeling just went away. I didn’t listen to that song again for almost two whole weeks. And when I heard it again on the radio, I didn’t even recognise it! I had to pay close attention to the beat and the lyrics. And still I was like, “I know this song! What is the name of this song?!” Strange right? I guess once I got the message, the song meant nothing to me. Maybe I felt what was trying to be conveyed. I don’t know but I almost returned it or looked for its replacement that day. That’s just how foreign that song was to my ears. It was almost annoying.
Maybe there’s a connection with music and me. We go way back. Maybe as far back as the womb. Maybe that’s how I communicate, relate to the feelings of others or something. Not sure, but it’s a strong connection. Music, who needs it? Me, that’s who.
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