I have come to the realization that knowing whose you are outweighs any other thing in life. Let me explain. I have, in some form or another, had a relationship with God most of my life. He and I have communicated in times past about anything from Christmas toy requests to where to live in North America. Broad I know. But I can tell him anything. How I feel about his choices for my life, what color flower I prefer. Anything.
We’ve always had this sign between the two of us that lets me know that he hears me and he’s working on my case.
One day I was crying uncontrollably about where I thought my life was not headed. No job prospects, place to live etc. Things I considered a big deal! In the process of my sobbing and throwing an all out temper tantrum, I noticed that I had misplaced one of my favorite pair of earrings. Not both, just one of them.
It was a half-inch wide gold hoop earring. You know, the kind that most baby girls are adorned with at about eight months old or so. Just cute and small. I’m not a flashy person so I wear small, inconspicuous jewelry most of the time. Less is more I always say.
Anyway, I lost one of the pair somewhere between the driveway of a friends house and the parking lot of a mega church. To me, that was the last straw. I lost it. The one thing that brought me joy and a sense of who-ness was my ability to hold onto some of my possessions while transitioning to my own place, I had lost. It was bigger than a small piece of jewelry, to me, it was a sign of life going down hill all the more. “What a waste.”, I thought to myself. Referring to my life’s path and where I was at the time. I was miserable, destitute and depressed. I felt so hopeless. All because I couldn’t hold onto a tiny earring.
In my mind, life was just about over. I looked all over my friends home, closets, everywhere I had been the evening before. To no avail. I finally surrendered to another loss in my life and let the earring go. I had a mental memorial for the hoop then moved on to something else.
Suddenly I heard a knock on my door. It was my friends daughter. She’d found my earring in the floor of her bedroom closet. “Hallelujah!”, I yelled. Things were looking up for me. Finally, a glimmer of hope. I gave her a big hug then thanked God for making my day. I knew that he heard me and that he had more for my life.
Years pass and I eventually got a job, got married and was on my way to becoming a first time homeowner. The job was going well, however, my home life was beginning to be more than I could handle. It was beyond stressful. I’d lost all sense of peace in my own home. It was not pretty. The hopelessness began to creep in again as I made my way to work one morning. I went to the restroom to try to pull myself together and talk to God about my problems. He’s a wonderful listener by the way. I poured my heart out to him then went on about my day.
After a very long day, I finally made it to the place I called home. As I started to wind down and change into something more casual, I noticed that one of my half-inch wide gold hoop earring was missing yet again. I lost it. Again. Another phase in my life gone bad and another loss of a sense of who-ness. I was devastated. It seemed like a horrible nightmare. I was a wreck. But I pulled myself together and decided to make the best of the situation and to not take it as a sign of bad things to come.
No more than, I say, about twenty minutes passed before I heard a knock on my apartment door. It was my elderly neighbor from across the breezeway. I opened the door, greeted her and asked how I could help her. She’d always been the sweetest neighbor. I would often help her with her bags or whatever small chore she needed done.
Anyway, she said, “I found this little piece of jewelry and wondered did it belong to you. Does it?” As she held up the earring my eyes began to well up with tears. She found it. My earring. I said, “Yes. It’s mine.” After she left I thanked God for hearing my cries. I could not believe it. This elderly lady, with poor vision, had found such a small, insignificant piece of jewelry. That day the Father and I had a bond that was sealed for all eternity. I began to seek him more intimately from that moment. I felt like we were more than creator and creation, we were friends. Friends. God was my friend.
From that day to this one, I have never been the same. To me it was made clear that He had, and would always, watch out for me. It said to me that if he was congnescent of something that small, how much more would he take care of the bigger more significant things in my life. And the ironic thing about the sign is that it’s an earring. It hangs on my ear. An ear. He hears me.
I’ve since lost the marriage, the house I finally owned and more. But I didn’t cry this time. I had history.
I’ve since bought a new pair of silver hoop earrings but then lost them at a farm with horses, with hay, a bounce house with a water slide and a swimming pool at a family function with over seventy-five people in attendance.
As soon as I considered the earring a casualty of the hay stack at the farm, the phone rang. It was my aunt calling me that same evening to ask, you guessed it, “Did you lose an earring?”. And this was after she had called a few other relatives to confirm that it wasn’t theirs.
He has yet to fail me. That gives me a sense of security and hope knowing that no matter what happens in my life, I belong to Him and he belongs to me. I know whose I am. I am His.
dorothy’s page © 2018 Dorothy E. Young